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That's because her grandparents' and possibly (depending on where in China she is from) her parents still value marital stability above all else in their time, given the instability and volatility of their eras.In fact, I once dated a girl who would only meet up at places that her parents AND grandmother had pre-approved; as you can imagine none of these places were very fun.Marriage is for stability, friendship, children; love is for the adrenaline highs and lows of sexual madness, the romance of being appreciated by anew person, the joys of flirting, pursuing, and clandestine coupling.

It is just assumed that monogamy is rare, if not impossible, among lively people, and the question never comes up."Whether my friend's observation is true or not (for I have many European friends who do seem to care deeply about their mate's fidelity), it certainly does seem that Europeans see marriage differently than Americans do.But first, let me give you some background information so you know where I'm coming from.(Excuse the pun.) I was involved in a very serious relationship straight out of high school which lasted for almost ten years. Wary of how these friendships can turn into romances and affairs, plenty of evangelicals advise against them.At a recent Southern Baptist conference on sexuality, pastor Kie Bowman suggested men not "get in a car (alone) with woman who is not your wife unless she's your mother's age." On the other end of the spectrum, Christian writers like Dan Brennan and Jonalyn Fincher argue that "cross-sex friendships" are worth the risk, even if one or both of the friends are married.

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